How to Master Motivation by Being Grateful

This month those of us in the US celebrate Thanksgiving. A fraught holiday since it's also commemorative of the genocide of Native American peoples. This is an occasion to celebrate the numerous native cultures that remain alive today and to ground into a practice of giving thanks.

The practice of giving thanks, also called a gratitude practice, is something best done more frequently than annually. Something in the span of weekly to daily occurrence seems to have a good effect. A gratitude practice isn't complicated: think of something you're thankful for today, or make a fast list of any 10 things you can call to mind that you're grateful for. The key is to bring these things to mind for a moment of internal celebration, so easy, fast, and frequent are winning strategies.

A gratitude practice harnesses the power of positive reinforcement. I notice that many people seem to attempt to motivate themselves through negative means. E.g. they want to buckle down and get it done, to force themselves to do the task, or for some external force (their coach) to scold them into getting it done. This isn't how motivation works. You may find short-term success with these types of strategies, but it will wane over time.

Think of it this way, let's say you found a new restaurant and absolutely loved the food. You noticed that every time you ordered, the staff taking your order would roll their eyes. They're friendly otherwise, but you can't shake the discomfort of such a clear negative non-verbal cue. You might keep going and ignore it. But it's more likely that you'd change your behavior to avoid theirs, either by ordering take-out or by not going to that restaurant.

If you're being mean to yourself inside your own head, your brain is having a similar experience. Except that your brain can't "leave the restaurant." It's stuck there and it's going to shut down if it spends too much time with negative feedback. It might take time to develop into full shut down, but if every time you try to do difficult-thing-x, you start berating yourself, you'll stop successfully doing difficult-thing-x.

Lasting motivation comes from positive reinforcement. By highlighting what's going well, we're able to find excitement or joy that propels us forward. If we can find the good part of a difficult task then we're more likely to face that task with a bit more ease than the last time. If we're mentally highlighting all the things we like and appreciate in our life, we're more likely to focus on those, feel good, and have the energy and momentum to take on the challenging things.

Whether you're feasting on turkey or not, a habit of noticing what's going well and what you're thankful for will have an impact all year long.